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| Note
from Artie |
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Hey Folks. Back
by popular demand it’s more thoughts from the blotter.
Hurricane Charley
may be confounding the confusion in the State of Florida, but here
is evidence that we don’t need major weather events to stir
things up. We manage to keep things spinning on our own.
As always,
Eschew
obfuscation.
-Artie
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| Case
Files |
Case #1
Date/Time: 08/18 1210
Location: Washington
Incident: Bomb/Threat
Description:
A private citizen in Greenhead was found to have there home wired with explosives and trapped doors. The individual is highly paranoid and afraid. A total of 15 bombs were found.
Status: Closed.
Thoughts: Highly paranoid? I would be highly paranoid and afraid I would set off one of my 15 bombs. I can see the classified ad now, highly paranoid male seeks roommate trained in explosive ordnance and disposal. Good luck with that one, sir.
Case #2
Date/Time: 08/18 1405
Location: Walton
Incident: Railroad
Description:
A private citizen in DeFuniak Springs reported a foul odor from a railroad car that could indicate a release. Upon investigation, it was determined the odor was from the car but was not a release.
Status: Closed.
Thoughts: This one might as well say, private citizen reports foul odor from railroad boxcar. Upon investigation, it was determined that the railroad car was full of hobos in desperate need of showers.
Case #3
Date/Time: 08/18 1646
Location: Duval
Incident: Railroad
Description:
Train vs. dump truck reported in Davenport. Seven people reported injured. No fatalities reported.
Status: Closed.
Thoughts: Sounds like one of those shows on TV where they build robots and machines to reenact their gladiator fantasies. On the next Monster Battle Bot Garage Fight, see Train Versus Dump Truck.
Case #4
Date/Time: 08/18 2129
Location: Santa Rosa
Incident: General
Description:
A private citizen in Milton reported that someone was pulling a tree with his or her boat in Blackwater Bay and then cut the tree loose near his home. The tree is 20 to 30 ft long and is a hazard boaters in the Bay.
Status: Closed.
Thoughts: It’s the Redneck banana boat. Come on Kids, jump on the tree and I’ll drag you around with the boat. It’s more fun than water skiing, wake boarding, or knee boarding.
Case #5
Date/Time: 08/12 2035
Location: Leon
Incident: Fire - Major Structure
Description:
A barn fire was reported in Tallahassee. The barn contained propane tanks, guns & a stock of ammunition. The ammunition and propane tanks exploded inside the barn. No injuries reported.
Status: Closed.
Thoughts: Sounds like the owner of this barn would make a good roommate for the highly paranoid and afraid guy mentioned earlier.
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Copyright
© 2004 JoshuaStarling.com
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