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Well I’m officially
disappointed at all our female readers; we try and strive for
equality, but noooooo. I guess the stereotypes were right, and our
great experiment has failed. You can’t blame us for not trying. We
only gave you three months to get inspired; ohh well ya’lls loss.
At least it was replaced by something worth while and manly.
But in my deepest despair
and disgust at the fact that we got no response from the ladies I
get a moment of inspiration to write from one. For that I’m only
giving one shout-out, and it goes to my girl the beautiful
refugee Lauren. So here’s the conversation (I’ve changed the
IM’s to protect her she is beautiful after all).
MDiddy 80: and i feel kinda
sick
Lauren: ick, that's no good!
Lauren: i'm sorry
MDiddy 80: i think its sorta
what my brother has
Lauren: yeah
Lauren: that stinks
Lauren: maybe you would feel
better if you updated your ramblings.
Lauren: yeah, i bet that would
help.
Well for those of you who
are casual readers won’t know this, but I too am a working man
now. To shock you even more the Captain works for a church in the
Athens area. Part of my duties as the intern, I mean indentured
servant, is to help out at Wednesday night church. Well last week
I had one of my favorite college experiences of the year. I got
the privilege to go on a hike with the Sparks (K – 2nd
grade age group) at the UGA Botanical Gardens. This may not sound
all that cool, but I was responsible for the well being of 30
little kids. It was blast; all the kids had to stay in a straight
line as we walked down this path. You can harass kids to no end as
long as you are in front or behind them.
The highlight of my night
was when Little Johnny asked me how old I was. Now Little Johnny
was 7 so this story makes sense I guess. I told him I was 24; he
then asked if I had any kids. I firmly told him no, but he
proceeded to accuse me of lying. We argued for 15 minutes over my
parental status. The entire time Little Johnny and I are talking
this lady from the church is cracking up. Needless to say Little
Johnny thinks I have lots of kids.
Now flash forward to this
week. I set up for Wednesday night church and go to the adult
prayer group. I highly recommend this for any college student; it
forces us out of the “University Bubble”. After prayer group this
lady walks up to me and asks if I’m waiting on my kid. I’m 24. I
don’t think I look that old, and I know I don’t act that old but
anyway.
This now comes full circle
to the fact that we here at Joshuastarling.com grossly
overestimated our female readers’ intelligence and creativity.
After all “Boys are stupid”, and you ladies pulled a fast one over
on us. As I said at the top we tried you failed; we’re hurt. And
for the record I do have a lovely girlfriend the hot and
flirtatious Heather. If you read my column you’d have noticed her
name pops up on a regular basis, like every Rambling. But anyway
off my soap box of sexual equality.
Well in parting I’d like
to again give mad love to my girl the beautiful refugee Lauren. As
one of my heroes said “She's a robo-babe. In Latin she would be
called "babia majora". You rock and/or roll. So as you go
throughout your week kids “Don’t trust whitey”. That’s it for this
week and hope to see you soon.
Keep on trucking,
- Captain Matt |
